Thursday, May 22, 2008

it turned out that i did get into magic and managed to find people who were also interested. it's really fulfilling something that i was missing and i really enjoy doing it. i don't know what it is. yeah, it's nerdy. i get it. but so are a lot of things. most of which, i'm interested in.

which brings me to an important thought that i've been thinking about recently. acting is just larping. but like, the most embarrassing kind of larping ever. larpers don't try and get my attention. they're not trying to prove that they're really good at acting like a warrior or wizard or elf or what have you. they do it in their community and if you don't want to know about it, no skin off their fucking back. they don't give a shit. however, if you're an ACT-OR you have to prove your craft every single day. look how good i am at pretending to be someone else. i love to sing and dance.

plus, if you're going to larp, wouldn't you just always want to be something awesome? like, why does P.S.H. want to larp about huffing glue after his wife committed suicide. that's fucking weird. and then why am i supposed to applaud him for it?

plus, there's no hit points in acting. so i can't be like "yo, you suck as eliza doolittle. you get polio, -25 hp". which is the best way to always keep larpers in check.


i've been living with caitlin for quite some time now. our bedroom has become this bizarre tranquil safe haven for me. i just feel so comfortable there. after working on a show for like 16 hours a day i know that i can come home sit on the couch look at my "I WANT TO BELIEVE" poster, play halo, watch dvds, build a magic deck, see our weird cat, blaze down and forget everything that has happened during the day.

the last place that i lived with ryan was pretty awful. i just never felt comfortable there. this, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with ryan. just the physical place itself. that place was dripping with negative energy.

the huge rats shitting on my bed wasn't any picnic either.

thanks to you caitlin, i'm finally able to laugh at love.


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