Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Ryan Trott (Hologram and Family Trees) is the artist of the new OMNIPOTENT CHIRP logo.

I, like Michael Myers, am back.

And I, like Michael Myers, leave people wondering "who gives a fuck?". Rob Zombie bored me to tears in the theater this early fall. I think he just fell asleep at the wheel on this one. It didn't even have any stupid visual fuckery as seen in his shithouse classics TONS OF DEAD DUDES and DEVIL DUDES.

I was born in late October, so the fall is a very important time for me. When I was 12 or something I got cornered by some of Deer Park's finest 16 year olds and was beat with socks filled with flour and shit. I don't remember the names of all the kids but I do remember that Jason Duninzo was the main culprit. He lived in a house a few doors down from me and was a compulsive liar. Typical stuff really, he had this great amazing car that he had been working on but it was in his cousin's garage but his cousin was never around so he couldn't take it out of the garage but he could get in to work on it but I couldn't come because his cousin doesn't want people in his garage. His family also seemed to throw out a couch every week. I never figured out how that worked. His sister, Jennifer, would smoke weed at the bus stop and I never knew what it was. She was more creative than her brother. She once told me that she had a secret night club in her back yard (which boarded a huge neighborhood sump). I hated Halloween for a few years after that, but I got over it. I've recently found that Halloween + Alcohol is probably the best that any American holiday can get.

The plan this year is to get really into the spirit. Going to Haunted Houses is a must, as is seeing plenty of shitty movies, maybe even fit a Chiller in there (WOAH! Val Kilmer, Elvira, AND Henry Winkler?! I'm SO fucking there!!).

Good costume, I'm thinking something gory this year. I've never done that. Except I was a vampire this one year and I had my mom paint on as much fake blood as she would allow dripping from my jaw. It was pretty good but it was one of those "all in one" costumes, so it was like a tuxedo t-shirt but with vampire shit on it. Good flame retardant cape though!

I lump in stuff like pumpkin picking and shit like that, why not? It's all part of the season. Maybe I'll even start working on my horror film idea OPEN LATE. It's about how New York is the scariest fucking place ever.

Speaking of that, they screened CRUISING recently AND it's getting a DVD release? Fucking crazy! Watch it if you get a chance. Not many films can truly depict a New York City more terrifying than Cruising. Except for like, Frankenhooker, After Hours, and even Basket Case had a few good scary New York Scenes. I guess Home Alone 2 would have to go on that list. Although that pigeon lady is totally not scary.


Frank said...

Michael Myers breaks through more walls than the motherfucking Kool-Aid Man.

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