omnipotent chirp

Well, the whole world seems to be interested in the gruesome details of the demise of one of the best wrestlers that the WWE ever showcased. To call this a tragedy is an understatement. Benoit was one of the last of his kind, a true professional wrestler without ego or a closet filled with "demons" which he had to constantly battle. ("Demons" is a WWE term used to mean anything from spousal abuse to drug addiction)

What makes me upset about the whole thing is that Vince coming out of the whole "Mr. McMahon is dead" angle to pay tribute to this man one night and the following night is claiming that Benoit was a monster. I'm not saying that Benoit should be praised for such a terrible act, however it's just typical of the WWE to turn their back on a situation the second that steroids come into the picture.

I didn't think that this would ever turn into a wrestling death blog, but it seems to be going that way. I'm a little shook up over all this and it truly saddens me the way 95% of these wrestlers meet their own demise. It's a hard gritty lifestyle that many don't survive. And all for what? This traveling circus act that barely pays (if you're lucky) to entertain monsters such as myself who consume and spit out?

Although, at the same time, how many lives were saved because of their involvement in wrestling? New Jack, I'm looking at you. You too Stone Cold.

Labels: Chris Benoit, Double Murder Suicide, Nancy Benoit, Steroids, Tragedic Life of Professional Wrestlers, Vince McMahon, WWE

ACTING LIKE LIFE IS A BIG COMMERCIAL

Jesus Christ. I don't know why, but somehow the fact that I waited till 2007 to see the Beastie Boys just makes so much fucking sense. Here's the reason why I love the fact that it's going to be in Williamsburg: to completely spazz/mark out in front of all the dudes who are trying to look like they paid 50 dollars to not give a shit. Well, I do. I give so much shit.

SO NOW I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO Y'ALL
BE TRUE TO YA'SELF AND YOU WILL NEVA FALL

So I'm currently working on a reality program for one of the major networks. Due to some bullshit papers I signed I can't divulge which program it is. But, I'll tell you this, it rhymes with KNIFE COP.

Woah, wait. KNIFE KOP.

I'm going to write that screenplay ASAP. Because the world needs a movie about a cop that brings down an entire gang ridden city with only one knife.

Anyway, I just worked 30 hour day and I'm ready to die. All I can say is, if you have the opportunity to never go to rural Ohio, take that opportunity. To never go. Because it's the worst.

Also, a moment of silence for Sensational Sherri. A true innovator in female wrestling. Nay, the shape of American professional wrestling. Dead by the age of 49.



Who wants to take bets on this guy's expiration date?

Labels: Beastie Boys, Cute is What We Aim For, Egg Raid on Mojo, Knife Kop, McCarren Pool, Razor Ramone, Reality Television, Sensational Sherri, Williamsburg, WWE

Guess which!!






While The Soprano's were insulting their audience (for the 1,000,000 time) Vince McMahon did as he always does. Give the audience what they want. And what did they want? The best death scene of all time.



McMahon's character has become SO evil and SO hated over the attitude days till now there was literally nowhere else for him to go. I mean, fuck, he was the fucking champ of the ECW.

So what has he done here? He's injected some life into a product that has become stale. We now get to go through a "Who shot J.R./Mr. Burns" type adventure. Which, most likely will be terribly lame. But there's a silver lining:

MR. MCMAHON PRESUMED DEAD

They never "found" the body. SO what I hope and pray for is simple. He comes back from the dead (see: Undertaker, Kane) and comes back as Super McMahon (see: Super Shreder).

Labels: Sopranos, Super Shreder, Tony Soprano, Vince McMahon, WWE